Romancing Yourself: Discourse in Masturbation

by jasmine

The most important sexual relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. 

I say this only with half-hearted humor.  It is meant to elicit some chuckles, but I’m speaking (or writing) from a place of unabashed honesty.  Firstly, this thought goes beyond the surface of masturbation, and I want that to be clear.  No one should ever feel shamed by masturbation, and self-exploration.  I mean, how else are we supposed to figure out what we like and what we don’t – how our bodies will respond sexually if we don’t figure it out for ourselves?  But this is so much more than having a sense of our own sexual gratification.

It’s about knowing your body, loving your body, and being empowered by that.  I had never given much thought to this notion up until recently when I begin to think about better ways to love and accept myself in order to enrich my inner peace.  I wake up every morning and look at my body as I’m getting dressed for the day.  Some days, I hate what I see.  Most days, my mind is so cluttered I don’t see much of anything.  And occasionally, I feel so replenished internally that I love what I see externally.  I don’t doubt my own brand of beauty, and again, that’s not what this is about.

I believe masturbation is paramount to a woman’s sexual health, education and empowerment.  It’s basic biology.  Touching ourselves ever so thoughtfully, being attentive to those special areas, we are acquainting ourselves with our bodies; building a relationship, figuring all ins and outs, so to speak.  We become familiar with the normal and abnormal sensations of our anatomy – we know what our bodies are supposed to look like and how they should feel; vital information for those visits to the doctor.

It’s also a lesson in acceptance; learning to work with what we’ve got (this also applies to the aftermath of nips and tucks).  We all have those parts of our bodies that we’re really proud of, and those parts we’re ashamed of.  Really looking at our bodies, admiring all the nuances of every freckle, curve and inch, we grow in our self-acceptance.  Patting ourselves on the back, gently massaging lotion into our skin, and yes – a caress of our nether region, we are affording ourselves physical comfort and pleasure.  We are doing something solely for ourselves, and as life goes, we don’t get to do that often.  How powerful is that?  We know what we want and how to get it.  Independence at its finest.

Masturbation is empowerment.  We are in control of our sexual behavior; and it’s of the highest value when we can embrace and enact that.  Mid-sexual experience, there’s a difference between having control of our bodies and choices, and having fun and letting go.  Nothing kills a carnal buzz more than feeling silenced.  Silenced by an absence of self-expression.  When we are unable to clearly indentify for ourselves what it is that makes us and our bodies feel satisfied, we become suppressed, unable to vocalize our wants to our sexual partners.  We relinquish the power over our bodies to someone else.  Terrifyingly unsexy.

So, ladies – let’s take the time to pull out all the stops to romance ourselves!  Play with ourselves; enjoy ourselves; I can assure you, we’re the best company to keep.  It’s a lovely gesture of satisfaction when we give ourselves attention.  It’s a moment of rich indulgence when we make ourselves feel exceptional.  Let’s pay our bodies the highest compliment; show some thoughtful affection.  Let’s get to know ourselves to accept ourselves; diddle and have a giggle.   Let our bodies reciprocate, so that they reinforce our intuition.  It’s all in love, health and empowerment.  Just beware of carpal tunnel.

xoxo, Jasmine